One girl and one boy is just not enough.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
