Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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