bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
