I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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