let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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