Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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