he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
