9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
