its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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