I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
