I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
