so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
