Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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