I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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