before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
