If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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