Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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