also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
