she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
