at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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