He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize