my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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