I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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