you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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