I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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