I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
