Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize