why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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