You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
