dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
zippers are such a cool invention
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
