I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
