Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize