Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
