Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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