Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
