I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
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