When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is wine microwaveable?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
