They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
