Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
