3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
