so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
there is glitter all over my balls
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
