so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
