its not stalking. its research.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
