How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
