the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
