Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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