I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
