Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
