Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
