she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize