If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
