white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
