How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
