Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?