i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
