Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water

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(518): View more from New York

you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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(815): View more from Illinois

you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes

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(209): View more from California

she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

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(802): View more from Vermont

Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.

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(903): View more from Texas

is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?

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