somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
