There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
