i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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