You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
