P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
